How to overcome the lack of self-confidence?
Here, we propose to boost confidence in 5 steps. After identifying some difficult situations and change efforts, the final step is to establish a training program to gradually confront embarrassing situations.
1. Review and identification of situations
The first thing we ask people who complain of lack of self-confidence is to do a balance sheet, inventory accurate enough.
This approach involves identifying small evasions of everyday life, to describe how the lack of self-confidence is reflected in the daily life of people who say they do not dare ask for certain things, perform certain steps, dancing in front of others, public speaking, stress face a difficult task, etc.
Indeed, we cannot work on a comprehensive concept, it is essential to detail and therefore has a list as accurate as possible, points, and troublesome situations.
One can then lead gradually to face difficult situations because it must be emphasized; self-confidence thrives on lack of confrontation situations. People avoid a lot, they do not confront, and it is a very important point to remember.
2. Accept imperfection Solvent
Lack of confidence is due to a share of perfectionism. People dare not do certain things because they do not fit.
For example, they dare not dance because they feel they do not know how to dance well enough, they do not dare ask for fear that she is not smart enough or clear, etc.
3. Establish a friendly relationship with people
Establish a friendly relationship with oneself. Again, most people who have a problem with confidence are very demanding. When they failed to establish what is called an interior monologue very virulent.
They devalue, they say they’ll never; they are worthless, worthless, etc. This report’s autointoxication is constant and very problematic. This is being undertaken in many therapies. We must learn to talk to ourselves as you speak to a friend.
When a friend fails or has problems, you do not tell him it is zero or there will never be. It is argued, it was noted that went well in its approach, we present what was not as indices for changes to be done and not as definitive evidence of incapacity, he says he will achieve little bit and so on.
4. Do not pretend but make discussions
Do not pretend but discuss and changeless people who have problems with self-confidence often pretend to be indifferent, uninterested, unmotivated by any particular thing that makes them expensive, not to take the risk to fail or ridicule.
They also often feel alone in having this type of difficulty, they think everyone else is superior and tend to compare unfavorably with those around them.
The General Council is to give them to talk about their problems as much as possible to other people, friends or relatives, to know how others perceive and operate themselves.
It is thus understood that doubts about oneself are common to all humans and there simply differences in how to manage his doubts.
Some feel that their doubts should not stop them, while others, too embarrassed by these doubts, not move to take no risks. The notion of exchange and discussion is very important to feel less alone with this type of problem.
5. Exercises can turn the situation gradually
Acting through exercises does not change the problems of self-confidence by reflecting only, but by doing.
Once you have a list of all the little situations we tend to avoid (do not dare ask for information in the street, vendor information, say no?), you have to plan training programs.
For example, those who do not dare disturb people can give as objective to stop every day ten people in the street to ask for directions, time, or any other information.
The goal is not to obtain the information (we already know the answer) but to confront his anguish, and the habit gradually deals with situations that are avoided.
This training is similar to that of an athlete. It starts with easy situations, without any particular difficulty, just to warm up, and week after week, it goes a little difficult (for our example, first ask passers-by who look nice and in no hurry, then move to those whose appearance impresses us most?). The goal is not necessarily to succeed but to do exercises.