It is easier to agree than disagree. But we can learn a lot of conversations in which we disagree on our views, provided we are able to listen and talk rationally.
Unfortunately, most either do not dare to show our disagreement or lose the papers when things do not go as we like. These 5 tips can help keep disagreements in a constructive way, whether you’re talking to your parents, a friend or any other person:
Do not make it personal. If you feel angry, remember that you are angry about is the idea or concept that defends your father (or friend, mentor, colleague, etc..), Not the person.
Avoid despise the ideas and beliefs of the other person. If you ever get touched or contempt attack someone, you already know how important it is to use a language and respectful behavior. So instead of saying what you may be thinking (so stupid!), Try this: “I’m okay with that for this reason …”. Resist the temptation to yell, use sarcasm or making derogatory comments, and so is much more likely that what we have to say is understood.
Use phrases in first person (I) to communicate how you feel, what you think and what you want or need. Speaking of the other (you) can give the impression that you are discussing. For example, tell your mom or dad “I always remember my homework on Wednesdays when you know that I have a lot of homework” sounds very different to say “I feel very overwhelmed, because today I have many duties. These tasks I can do tomorrow ? ”
Hear the other’s view. Listening well is a way to show that you respect and understand the point of view of the other person. This will make it more likely to do the same for you. When the other person talk, try not to think about why you disagree or what you’re going to answer. Instead, pay attention to what you are saying. When it is your turn to speak, repeat any important point that the other person has mentioned to show you listened and heard what he said. Then calmly, explain your arguments and why you disagree.
Stay calm. This is the most important thing you can do in a conversation. It is certainly a challenge to stay calm and be reasonable when you feel angry or excited by something, especially if the person you’re talking heatedly does. You may be required to act like the mature person who can lead the conversation calmly, while the other is a parent or someone who should know better how to do it.
Of course, respect should not only be considered in difficult conversations. Be polite and considerate of family members, teachers or school counselors in daily activities will help us (parents included!) To lay the groundwork for when we cannot agree.