One of the most difficult tasks for parents is to setting limits to child. While we agree on the importance of this task, usually alternating between being too strict or too permissive. We present here some proposals to set limits.
The limits are beneficial to strengthen the ability of anticipating our son. At birth, the baby wants its drives are satisfied parents immediately and respond immediately to their demands.
As socialization grows makes the child learns to expect. Also generates substitute’s primary objects of satisfaction. For example, the dummy is a substitute object example of the breast.
As it is expected to increase its capacity substitutes are becoming more complex too. A child can calm down and wait when we talk, we sing and we told a story.
The limits teach our little to delay their desires. It prepares you for similar situations that life holds for him.
It is essential to note that our son has to learn that when you say no, that decision is set in stone. The frustration that you generate is inevitable, but should get used to tolerate and live with it because the rules are precisely those that give safety and teach you to trust sound judgment. If a child is stronger than their parents cannot feel protected by them.
In a tantrum or anger, we distract or restrain him with a hug, but never deny what is happening. Once recovered tranquility, should talk to him about what has happened. This will allow you to benefit from the experience.
Between Explanation and Routine
The starting point is to cap an explanation of why we do it. If our child understands the reason why we are putting a rule, you will feel more inclined to obey. This helps further to create awareness about which internal performance values are important.
At the time of giving the explanation, it is important to do so in short order not to distract our little with unnecessary detours. Suffice it to say: “Pay your toys and other children will be more willing to lend you theirs when the ask”.
Once the limit is essential since being consistent. Whenever the situation arises that requires the rule is important to re-mark. This will not lead to resistance or negotiation and will become a habit. Much more so if it comes to family routines and time to go to sleep.
Why Insist on Not Obey?
Ensure that our child learn to behave is a very long task. If you insist on disobeying should always analyze, first, if indeed understands the rules. Many times we feel that we express ourselves clearly but in reality, our little misunderstand what we say or how we do it.
Secondly there may be something to disturb the peace of the family: birth of a new child, job instability, moving house or school, illness or divorce. It is very likely that we are stating their discomfort with the new situation.
Finally, disobedience can be a form of affection claims us. If we set limits show severe and inflexible, it is possible that our little think we do not. Hence the importance of showing firm but affectionate.
What to Do Penance and Prizes?
The penance must be applied to correct some behavior and may consist of depriving the child with something that relates to what you are doing. For example: “If you take off the shoes to play in the park, we go home.” This deprivation is expedient to immediately after bad behavior so that our child can establish a fast association.
Many parents use rewards to get your kids meet the standards. It is important to be careful with the abuse of this strategy. The child usually quickly gets used to negotiate the prize, forgetting that there is a set of rules to follow because it is good for him and for others who do so.
It is essential to teach our son to respect adults. To do this we must start from the basis that if he will learn to respect the other adults. This behavior arises from the love and respect that I profess. We can not expect a child to be attentive and polite with her mom if she addresses him with bad words, screaming, tells lies or hits. Remember that children learn what they see.
Do not expect it to grow to educate on respect. It is a learning process that begins at birth and develops throughout childhood. Most important is the example.
Relationship between Family and School
The responsibility of educating our son as a person is critical. This will put you in the best conditions to join the world and culture with respect and tolerance. This task cannot be delegated to school. Parents are committed to setting the standards of behavior. School of reinforcing the conveniently.
How many times have we heard: “in school behaves like an angel at home is extremely disobedient”. The school has an obligation to child, but not alone. If a thing is done well in school, you also have to be at home. If the nursery is sitting when eating, waiting their turn to speak, at home we appreciate that behavior. The relationship between the family and the school must be fluid and complementary. If not valued so, do not make your child adopt good habits and you create real conflicts of authority.