There’s no question that having a baby is a blessing. But having a child comes with challenges. And don’t think that you’ve learned all the lessons with baby #1! Each new child is different and adds a unique dynamic to your family.
So, should you get all tense about having another baby? No.
Is it wise to prepare yourself mentally and physically? Definitely, yes!
- You avoid misunderstandings between you as a couple
- You prevent some naïve expectations
- Planning makes the journey much smoother
We compiled a simple checklist of questions you and your partner can use to initiate a necessary conversation before having your next child. Get ready for the next chapter, so that you can enjoy it so much more!
Why Do You Want to Have Another Child?
With anything in life, if your motivation is wrong you can end up with more frustration than you anticipated. Make sure it’s not a momentary whim or ‘baby fever’. If you’re thinking of having a second child simply to keep your partner or your parents happy, you may resent the decision in the long run.
What Does Your Body Say?
It’s wise for any woman to visit her doctor when she thinks of conceiving a second time: make sure your body has healed enough after the first birth so that you don’t have a high-risk pregnancy.
How Does EVERYONE Feel About Baby #2?
Never assume that your partner feels the same way you do. You may want a baby while your spouse wants to wait in order to save up enough money or pursue a career goal first. If you don’t align your goals, one party may become resentful.
Also discuss the matter with your first child, if they’re old enough to understand. At the very least, you may have to deal with jealousy from your first child towards the second. Are you ready to handle that jealousy from a psychological perspective? Or do you need some insight from child-rearing experts?
What if You Can’t Have Another Baby?
You and your spouse also need to prepare yourself emotionally for the possibility of not falling pregnant naturally. Is the need to expand your family so urgent that you will consider alternative methods of conception?
You have the option of visiting a fertility clinic South Africa has many of, but before that, you’ll have to face some realities:
- Do you have the financial resources to pay for procedures? Are you as a couple willing to use your savings for this process?
- How will you deal with the emotional hurt and disappointment that often accompany infertility?
How Will Your Lives Change?
To prepare for the new chapter, you must consider all the inevitable changes:
- Once again, you’ll have to get up at night to feed a hungry baby.
- Your routines will change because there are two children to look after, so both partners’ responsibilities may change.
- At times, one parent will have to manage two children on his or her own.
- Family holidays take on a different dynamic – no more leisure time when you have to keep two kids busy!
- If you’re a working mother, are you ready to stay at home for a few months?
Do You Have the Resources in Place?
Many factors determine whether having a second child will be a success story, and by that, we mean that you’ll raise a happy child with the least number of challenges along the way.
Firstly, you have to consider the size of your home. Ideally, your child will need his or her own room one day. Should you consider moving?
An additional child means you’ll have more family expenses. Can your current budget cover daily expenses as well as unforeseen costs, such as a medical emergency? And will you one day be able to provide both children with a good education? What do you have to do to make that a reality?
Also, consider whether you have the emotional support for you as a couple. If your parents lived close by during your first pregnancy, but they have moved away in the meantime, you’ll feel the lack of support this time around.
Discuss with friends and family how they’re prepared to help in terms of emotional support or babysitting. Knowing what realities you’ll face, can help you prepare mentally for the road ahead.
We wish you all the best for welcoming a new life into your home. Do your homework first-have honest talks with each other – and the journey will be so much smoother!
About The Author:
Kyle Moore is a South African writer with a love of all things natural! When he isn’t spending time wandering a forest, he’s finding ways to live his best life.